Understanding the Journey.....

Seldom do we become the exact personification of how we see ourselves in our head. Had you told me six months ago that I wasn't gonna graduate from Howard, go to the Columbia School for Journalism, and become one the New York Times’ youngest fellowship and win a Pulitzer Prize in the next three years, I would've called you crazy. I had the determination. I had the networking skills but something I didn’t have was the skill set. In my head, I was gonna graduate, move to New York, have a posh apartment, and make an hourly wage that is almost unrealistic of journalists just fresh out of college— especially the ones who live in New York. My future was set. There was nothing you could say or do to deter me from this image that I’d created of my near future and, I would often stress out because, at the moment, things in my life weren’t happening the way I thought they should. And thus came the revelation.

That's the journey. It has multiple roadblocks and detours. Its unexpected and unpredictable. It will make you cry. I know I did. It will make you happy, and sad, and upset, and numb. Previously, I didn’t think of my life as a journey. I didn’t take it one day at a time. I saw myself 3-4 years advanced. And there lay the problem; I didn’t live for now.

One day, I walked into my aunts office this past school year, and when I told her I was stressed out because I didn’t like the direction my life was going she looked at me and said with a shrug and a smile “Okay? And?” I was taken aback at how nonchalant she was about my uncertainty. She then told me something that permanently changed my outlook on life. She said, “And that’s the journey.” She continued, “Your life is a journey. You don’t know where you’re gonna be or what’s gonna happen tomorrow, next week, or even a year from now. It’ll take you where you’re supposed to go. It’s your journey, just go where the journey will take you and you’ll be alright.”

I was stunned at how easily my worries and doubts were put to rest? All of my fears and concerns were encompassed in a simple understanding: The Journey.

Understanding my journey, at first, was not an easy task. It took a self assessment. What had I done wrong that I could do better? What can I change? What are some goals in life? Am I an opportunist? How much does self doubt still impact my life? And most importantly, “Am I living my true self?” I tarried over these questions countless times in my head. A key to understanding my journey was understanding who I was and who I wanted to be.

I had to understand that I won’t always know what I want. I will be indecisive at times, and that’s okay. I won’t always have the answer. I will be stubborn. My learning experiences will come at the expense of something, and that’s okay, because learned. I will be moody. I wont always be positive. I will be happy. I will be too hard on myself sometimes. I wont always be a scholar. Sometimes I will be ambitious and other times I wont. I won’t always understand things. But something I will understand is that all of these things that make me human will create my journey.

I’ve learned that everybody has their own personal journey. What’s their’s is not yours, and whats your’s is not theirs. Journeys are meant to be individual. They belong to us. And although they may cross paths, its important to not stray away from your journey because your fortune lies ahead.

I honestly don’t know where the hell life will take me. But I do understand that uncertainty is apart of my journey. My journey is for me. I have to claim it. It is mine